As a parent, we are always knowledge-seeking. This is great! However, it brings with it a whole world of questions, uncertainties and well, changes! You have your chiropractor or other physicians to ask their professional opinions on subjects from the rash on the back of your kids leg to the vitamins they are using to your choice on vaccinations.
Parents are having so much more to decide on today than yesterday. The vaccination subject alone, there are now 72 vaccinations administered per CDC schedule by college, where when I was a child we had 13. Wow! Talk about a lot of research! Now, add in prescription drugs, proper diagnosis, pediatrician or not, homeschool or public school, circumcise or don’t, have the ultrasound or decline, is a doula necessary, what is a Rhogam shot anyway? Oh my Gosh! Are you overwhelmed by informed choice or what?
The hardest conversations I have are with parents that have made a decision in the past that they regret today. I can guarantee, you can look up from this email and think of at least one specific choice you’ve personally made in life and wish you hadn’t. (Pause for a little chuckle). We have all been there. When it comes to your parenting choices, however, you may not be laughing. Guilt is the first word I hear. Maybe it was a reaction to a medication or vaccination, maybe it was a conversation with a physician that ended with you feeling disrespected, confused or guilty, choosing the way wrong daycare, or even realizing your child is sensitive to specific foods a little late. These situations are done and over-with, you can’t change what has been done, yet you are, feeling vulnerable and looking for help.
Give Yourself Grace.
Yes, I mean the biblical term Grace as defined by Merriam-Websters, “1 a : unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification. b : a virtue coming from God. c : a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine assistance.” Give yourself grace! You need to forgive yourself or past decisions and not hold yourself in contempt for choices they have made. No one makes a choice at any moment because they believe it is going to harm themselves or their child. Your choice at that moment was based off of the best of your knowledge at that present moment. You were doing the best for you and your family AT THAT TIME.
As the saying goes, “it takes a village”, I see my patients being influenced by their mother-in-law, or by their spouse, or maybe there best friend. These people around you are very important in assisting with raising a balanced child, I do believe. However, having said that, trusting your judgment, at that time is what’s best, period. Outside influence can cause a lot of stress on people especially when the outsider’s opinion is not in line with your own.
For every action there is a reaction. Therefore, when we make choices there can always be a consequence. If you have experienced a negative consequence which pushed you to change your lifestyle choice(s), then build a village of people to encourage you and remind you that your past choice(s) were the best choice for you at that time and now you can react in a specific way in response. Afterall, the reaction is what truly determines a consequence of the action. Right? When a child gets hit by another child, their reaction to that physical altercation is what determines what happens next. The physical altercation may escalate into a bigger fight, if they hit back, resulting both children will be reprimanded where if the child walks away and handles the physical contact calmly, one child may be reprimanded, and the whole situation would result in a whole different ending. Reactions = Outcome. So, you can change the outcome. There are so many ways to manage the consequences from the actions and reactions of your specific situations.
Accepting what has already happened is the first stem. As parent you can arm yourself with the ability to research or seek the help of others to gain perspective on the subject and what to do NEXT. Look through the windshield, not the rearview mirror. Life moves forward and there is nothing we can do to change the past.
Loop back and support yourself with information is the best option in any situation. Life is already hard. Choices are harder. We need to be a united front as parents and support one another and not judge or shame.
Chiropractic in regards to pregnancy and pediatrics is a very important role in the overall healthcare of you and your children and their innate ability to self-heal and regulate.
Give yourself grace. And repeat.